About an hour ago computer technician Sze Ho-chun was found guilty for stealing Edison Chen’s rather intimate shots with a few very hairy women (among them Cecilia Cheung Pak-chi; Gillian Chung Yan-tung, better known as one half of the Twins; singer Bobo Chan Man-woon and model Rachel Ngan Sze-wing – all SFW) A jail sentence of up to 5 years might be the result of his actions and pleading not-guilty (?) to any of the charges. Half the world enjoyed the 1.300 explicit photos while HK and Chinese parents expressed outrage for the crash-course in sex education their offspring received. That’s what our public schools are for! Oh wait.. they’re not. Poor guy. As far as we’re concerned, Sze Ho-chun deserves a statue for ridding us from Edison and a few other Cantopop celebs who have been laying low ever since their punanis hit the net. And don’t you come back until shaven!
Update 13-5-2009: Poor fellow got convicted to 34 weeks in prison today. Sze’s lawyers plan to appeal the conviction.
And now ladies and gentlemen, the moment we have all been waiting for: the emergence of swine flu in Hong Kong. It’s official. Despite implementation of some of the toughest measures in the world to prevent another SARS-like epidemic, today a HK woman was hospitalized with severe symptoms of what appears to be the first case of the piggy cough. The woman just returned from San Francisco and is currently undergoing treatment in an undisclosed hospital. So far approximately 100 Mexicans have died from virus and over the past few days it has already popped up in the U.S., New Zealand, Israel, Spain and now also in the Big Lychee. At least some confirmed cases show a new version of this H1N1 swine flu sub-strain which might just kill a third of the world population again. Well, despite the new blow to your already worthless stock portfolio, at least the nightlife just got a whole lot more interesting. Soon you and your mates will be making wagers again on whether that body on the dancefloor has a face to match. Achoo!
Update April 28: Test revealed the girl had a type of flu which was NOT swine flu, a spokesman of the Hong Kong Center for Health Protection said today. False alarm!
Say goodbye to the archaic methods of spousal spying! No more surreptitious checking of his text messages while he’s dropping off the Cosby’s kids at the pool. No more dubious hacking into his email account. This is all too stressful and there’s really no need to exert the effort, at least not in Hong Kong. As suggested in a recent forum, you can actually pay the doorman of your partner’s building a nominal monthly fee (and by nominal I mean a couple hundred bucks a month) to have him “spy” for you….you know, keep tabs on who’s coming and going. It’s a great substitute, or add-on depending how over-zealous you are, to the stalking you’re already doing. Besides, it alleviates the pressures of doing the stalking yourself, unless you like dressing up in black, hiding behind trees, and moving with the stealth of a ninja (I know I do). It also saves you the hassle of setting up secret cameras in your partner’s flat (sidenote: they sell excellent mini-cams that are frighteningly inconspicuous for a decent price at the night market in Yau Ma Tei, and a short walk away you can find an excellent selection of dildos and whips – all up for bartering…..you’re welcome).
Getting the doorman to do your dirty work not only saves time and effort, you’ll also be boosting the economy, which in these trying times, is quite noble of you. But just be careful of how you handle the information you may receive. You may find that your partner is the pinnacle of fidelity and then feel like a complete asshole for thinking otherwise (and rightly so). However, if you find out that you’re partner’s been frivolously philandering, you couldn’t possibly come clean about paying off the door guy because the ’strong’ bond of trust that the two of you have worked so hard to build will undoubtedly be broken. Then, you’ll be put in the wrong for spying on his cheating ass and you’ll lose the upper-hand that you paid so much to get. Or worse yet, the doorman could turn out to be an opportunist and strike a deal with your partner who is now paying him off to tell you that nothing’s going on. But this is all simply speculation. I say if you want to stay in a delusional happy, satisfactory relationship with your partner, ignorance is bliss. But aren’t we all just a little curious about what happens when we’re not around? I’m off, I have to go speak to a few doormen.
