Most women share the opinion that prostitution is a disgusting and degrading profession. As a woman who has been living in HK for several years, I’ve observed all the moral wrongs of the profession and have seen things in a different light. Men from all walks of life hire prostitutes, some with no qualms whatsoever regarding the social taboo in which they are taking part, others having some sort of moral debate within themselves before engaging in the act. Whatever the case may be, I’d like to focus on one particular punter.

Consider the mediocre Gweilo, who may not be the most charming or good-looking or desirable, for that matter. Come to think of it, this encompasses a large number of Gweilo men living in HK. A man who, before moving to HK, had little luck with the ladies and who perhaps has not often had his lips on a woman since he was breastfeeding. A man who, in his own country, would have to bend over backwards to even consider playing the game, where, let’s face it; his playmates are likely less-than-desirable themselves. So, mediocre Gweilo man, welcome to Wanchai! For once in your life, you’re the hottest guy in the room just because you’re white. Before you even order your first drink, the wanton women of the night saunter towards you. As one gazes deep into your eyes, you know she’s good to go, no idle chit chat or witty banter necessary to win her over. She places her hand on your wallet, I mean, leg and continues to try and win YOU over.

Ok, so she’s after your money and not your sunny disposition. You’ll soon discover how easily you can delude yourself into thinking otherwise…people in relationships do it all the time! So now, for only $1000, $500HKD (economic recession perk!), this poor bloke can finally be touched by something other than his right hand. A tip for those guys who have been regrettably affected by the recession: You can experience even greater savings by heading to Wanchai on a Sunday afternoon. There are many domestic helpers looking to score some quick cash before returning to Hell, I mean, work, on Sunday night. However, one set-back may be that they are likely sloppy seconds from their Saturday night patron(s) which may bother you since you’re clearly a man seeking pristine pussy. But, times are tough and everyone knows you get better deals at closing time!

What’s even better is that the woman you hired is probably much more attractive than any woman who would have considered sleeping with you back in the motherland. And, as prostitution is legal here in HK, the only real worry is that after a sordid encounter of fantasies realized, mediocre Gweilo best watch your belongings as they’re likely to be stolen. To summarize, hot sex with a hot girl, no calling the next day, no drama, for the low, low price of a few hundred HKD. Well done Mr. Personality, I salute you! And I’m not even being sarcastic.