We are too safe and spoiled here. If we want Burger King we get it. If we want hookers & blow, we get it. If we lose our wallet at Starbucks, good chance we get it back somehow. Want a major film release on DVD before it arrives in theaters? Ok, the subtitles may belong to a different flick, but I think you see where I’m going with this.

So, besides not being able to get a decent ‘no can’t have’, we don’t see enough crime on our local seas. It feels as if Somalia and Indonesia are getting all the fun. The busiest port in the world (only until 2004, but for argument’s sake) should have at least some swashbucklers about, instead we just get burping Mainlanders. The Somalis aren’t in it for the thrill anyway, judging from the fact that they secretly long to be captured so that they can shit in a decent lavatory for once.

The Dark Side proposes a mission to those who are willing to rise up and take it. Board a Star Ferry and commandeer it to sail to Macau; pick up some dirty wenches, whiskey and booty, and ’sail’ back to Hong Kong flying the Jolly Roger. Reward? Looking way cooler than the Somalis in their crap fishing boats and eternal recognition of awesomeness by the majority of men with 9-to-8 office jobs in this town. Plus you get to keep the dirty wenches. Arrr!