Yes and No. Back in January a local man of the grumpy old age of 72 decided that he wanted to help clean his wife’s flat… so he threw two cups of ‘toilet cleaner’ to her face.
Now, whether or not that cleaned up the flat, it comes as a shock that his hottie 50-year old wife wants him back. When a woman writes both a plea for leniency during the trial, and a letter of intent to the trying judge seven months later, this man must have either a huge pair of balls, a huge pair of credit cards, or be the only man at 72 who doesn’t need viagra.
Here in Hong Kong we don’t skip a beat when hearing of acid attacks, largely due to Mong Kok acid rains plus the fact that in HK culture it seems the equivalent of ‘time out corner’ is ‘acid in the face.’ It does not come as a shock that our laws reflect this:
“The maximum sentence for throwing corrosive fluid with intent to do grievous bodily harm is life imprisonment”
Seriously. It’s one thing to say premeditated murder is life imprisonment, or that stabbing someone is manslaughter, but throwing corrosive fluid with the intent to do grievous bodily harm seems like a charge made from repetition. We’re willing to bet that the “TCFWITDGBH” charge is more used than murder in Hong Kong.
To all people who are intending to “TCFWITDGBH”, the point comes across much better with a face-scratch followed by a vodka-lime.
Are you hot, seductive, and attention horny loving? If yes, yes, yes, we might have just found you the perfect unpaid job! Hiphongkong.com is looking for a new ‘Brand Ambassador.’ Since we’re givers, we figured why not create some extra publicity? The job description reads:
Your job is to go to fabulous parties (usually by guest list only), network and tell people about hiphongkong.com. If you feel like it, you can take some photos and write a short blog about it. This is a non-paying job- but you will be able to attend all the A-list parties and meet everyone.
The ideal candidate is fashionable, presentable, preferably single and young-minded. You must be likeable, friendly, able to speak easily to anyone, and must love people and parties! You are the face of hiphongkong- hip, fun, social, a good connector and the life of the party. We will have periodic training sessions about networking, public speaking etc…
Sounds like a pretty sweet deal! Especially when considering that the body brains behind hiphongkong.com, Liza Monica, will be your teacher, quite possibly the most notorious cougar in town.
Recently you have probably heard and read many stories about the increase in use of Ketamine by our youth. This development has prompted the government to start a series of random drug tests at our schools, despite growing opposition and concerns about privacy laws being breached. Your opinion on the matter is of course entirely up to you. To address the seriousness of the situation however, you can find a video below of a Hong Kong girl who decided to enter a Ketamine snorting contest, supposedly across the border in China. If you’re thinking ‘holy shit, this isn’t gonna end well’, you’re a smart cookie. The girl is reported to have passed out and died at the hospital that same evening.
It’s pretty well known that Hong Kong rules Twitter in Asia, with our retarded little brother Singapore taking the second spot, followed by Malaysia and China. Twitter is incredibly useful for wasting your time, learning from “experts” and meeting fellow couch surfers. Here is a list of must-follows based in Hong Kong. They may be handy in some way, put a raunchy smile on your face, shock you, or simply bore the shit out of you. Here are the links to their accounts, as well as one representative tweet by each:
In the little known region of Arunachal Pradesh, India and China are re-igniting a flame that has been dormant for over 40 years. The dispute is over lands that lay on the 3,500 kilometer border between China’s all-knowing and powerful sovereignty, and pacified India. This may come as a shock to most, but China really doesn’t do too well with demarcations, and has always chosen to ignore this particular one since 1914.
Editor for the Indian Defence Review, Bharat Verma, has a startling opinion on the matter at hand, namely that:
“China will attack India before 2012.”
Basically, Verma concludes that China needs a military victory to unite the disillusioned citizenry behind them. This would definitely boost morale, and create human shields jobs, spurring the Chinese industrial economy to go into overdrive and produce those awesome McDonald’s toys with lead paint for use as psychological warfare weapons. The convenience with China jumping into war is that there are friendly nations to China surrounding our naan munching friends. Pakistan for example would relish the opportunity to expand its borders, and lets not forget the smaller regions within India that would die for a border to call theirs. Aiya, the problems are ever apparent. Of course Verma’s piece has lead Chinese scholars to cover updeny his accusations as ‘folly.’
The Chinese love playing games. Mahjong is obviously very popular, as well as board and dice games. And who could forget the classic game of hide-and-seek? The absolute favorite of Chinese officials however has to be ‘tit for tat.’ How else can we explain the punishing of the Melbourne International Film Festival for showing a documentary about exiled Uighur leader Rebiya Kadeer, the threatening of India for not feeling comfy with *cough* quality Chinese dairy and the cancelling of an entire summit with the EU last year because -ah putain!- Sarkozy decided to meet the Dalai Lama before. Although we do acknowledge the latter is usually full of shit.
The latest example was found yesterday, as China chose to reject a Japanese navy call because the dirty Japs hosted the exiled Uighur leader last month. If the Middle Kingdom is about to take on the role of world cop as our conservative columnist and Filipino basher Chip Tsao thinks it should, how about acting a bit more mature when the world doesn’t bend over every time you say 祖国! We know you hold so much U.S. debt you can bankrupt half the world in a second, your military power is becoming impressive, having the largest consumer market is simply a matter of time and we can even understand your argument for heavy pollution as nobody was bitching at the West while it was industrializing.
But for f*ck sakes, live up to the role of world leader and stop being such a whiny annoying brat. As Spidy’s uncle Ben once said: “With great power, comes great responsibility.” Sigh.. If only Hollywood could inspire Chinese officials as it did with this boy from Sichuan province.
