Done hiking, cleaning the graves of your ancestors and burning them paper cash? Good, then it’s time for the more important things in life again. Let us present to you Yao Yao (or better known in Cantonese as Yiu Yiu)! Ahhh yes, another ridiculous music video exploiting the child-like qualities of Asian women and making us feel ashamed for getting that funny feeling down below when we watch it. Our newest Leng-mo (Cantonese slang for pseudo models, “mo” meaning “model” – Canto Lesson #1 compliments of the Dark Side) might soon be giving our beloved Chrissie a run for her money:

In her corner she has a tragic story from which she rose and overcame, with the help of her huge knockers. When her father passed away two years ago, Yao Yao saw an opportunity to finally use her breasts as her golden ticket to fame.

Yao Yao confirms the stereotype that Taiwanese women are cuter and have bigger tits than other Asian women, something we already knew through our recent thorough research. Still not convinced? In your face. It also helps that in her new music video, the chorus boasts the lyrics “Du Du Du Du Du Lu”, which seems frighteningly similar to the Cantonese word “Diu” meaning “Fuck” (Canto lesson #2, compliments of the Dark Side). Coincidence? We think not! Lyrics of “Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck…” complemented by Yao Yao jumping on her bed in her underwear indeed make a killer combo if you’d ask us. Her father would be so proud, God rest his soul.

As unapologetically ashamed as you may feel for jerking off to this video, don’t be – Yao Yao’s success has supported her entire family, including her two siblings in primary school. But as heart-warming as this is, we all know there is a certain controversy with these pseudo models and the issue of female exploitation. So, here at the Dark Side, we’d like to take a stand against Asian female exploitation to redeem Yao Yao’s reputation and stolen innocence here, here, here and here. She has become quite a success and perhaps it’s not a product of her bountiful endowment but rather a testament to the songbird quality of her voice. In a terrible English translation, she is described as the perfect model for video games “with the so-called “Tong Yan Boobs” characteristics Yao Yao that, with beautiful appearance, fluency of the mouth…”

Our point exactly.