It’s no surprise that the internet is causing many relationships to go south. With the constant ability to distract yourself, there is the omnipresent ability to procrastinate. Not just work or duty, but also with regard to love and booty. In our beloved Maotherland China, University professor Chen became addicted to his internet vice of…. farming. Something not uncommon to most of us, judging from the popularity of retarded Facebook application Farmville among Hong Kongers. Offended? Go adopt a lost cow and you’ll feel better.

Anyway.. uneventful as Chen’s addiction may seem, the man had set his entire daily routine to his virtual farm. We have all had that great idea that keeps us up at night, but after a few dozen beers it usually goes away. Chen on the other hand literally dreams of his farm and has actually been heard by his wife when speaking about his grape harvesting schedule during sleep. Crazy? Not yet.

Mrs. Chen, wife of the year, turned into a 3-year old and began what she describes as a fired up fight. In typical fashion this meant blocking his access to the computer so he wouldn’t make his intricate farming schedule. Taking away a man’s vice is grounds for punishment in most societies, but in this case the Mr. was the victim. In a rare feat of superwoman strength, Mrs. Chen kicked the computer over, grabbed and lit newspapers on fire with intent of major destruction. The result? Freaking the shit out of their young child, also acting like a 3-year old (partially because he is one). The child’s crying made both über parents come to their senses and put out the fire before the house was destroyed. The parents give credit to the child for saving the house, as it seems Jr. Chen was the mature one this time.

The moral? Harvest your crops at the office instead. Something Chen wisely did at 5 am the next morning.