Today SCMP reports (no account, click here) about an American ‘kung fu’ enthusiast who got jailed yesterday for 16 months because of possession of illegal weapons. The man’s impressive private collection included three Japanese bayonets, three masks, two gravity-operated steel police batons, two stun guns, two pepper sprays, 40 metal balls, one bulletproof jacket, one folding knife and two knuckledusters. Indeed, a true gweilo ninja! Just like these fellas, whose awesome moves and weapons may have served as inspiration.

Alan van Leuven’s entire collection was supposedly purchased in Mong Kok and was stored in his fancy room at the Travellers Hostel in Chungking Mansion, where he had been living for 4 months after separating from his Hongkie wife. He wisely pleaded guilty, but added that he had bought the weapons for self-protection, claiming two gangs had assaulted and robbed him in 2007. In addition, the man’s parents and brother all work in security, which of course makes it perfectly sensible to stock arms as if the next zombie apocalypse is near.

We’re not 100% sure if the Alan on this page here is our guy, but if it is: dude, has your life gone downhill from there. His intentions with the collection may forever remain a mystery, but as Bruce Lee used to say: “If you spend too much time thinking about a thing, you’ll never get it done.” Good luck in jail psycho.