As we slowly freeze at our desks in our heaterless (yet still plush and upmarket) TDS news room, global warming is starting to seem like a better idea than ever before. Far be it from us to dispute the fact that the world is getting warmer… important, impartial and reputable scientists have shocking graphs to prove it!

The only issue we take is that it’s not happening fast enough. Goddammit it’s cold:

Upping carbon emissions was our first thought, but it seems that increases in temperature historically precede increases in atmospheric carbon, according to New Scientist (although in their defense, they do say we should simply ignore that fact).

What of former vice president Al Gore then? His relentless crusade for personal gain against global warming has resulted in him being arguably the worlds first truly thermo-neutral human being: every metric ton of greenhouse gas he removes from the atmosphere is being replaced by an equal measure of blustering hot air. Could salvation be found in the likes of Beijing politicians, LegCo puppets and Christina Chan? We can only hope.

Hong Kongers, idle your engines, turn up your AC, sell your Prius (oh, wait.. it’s currently under repair) and tear down the eyesore that is Hong Kong’s token wind turbine which -despite its impressive size- can barely keep an iPhone charged. It’s time to get our fair city back to its former hot, sweaty and sticky glory!

UPDATE: HSBC apparently thinks we’re not cold enough yet: