The acid thrower has struck again, which means all efforts up until now have not been working. Here are a few ideas which may increase the odds of succeeding:

1. New nickname – “The Acid Thrower” is actually a pretty cool nickname. If we all started calling him “Too-Weak-To-Hold-Acid-Bottles-And-Drops-Them-By-Accident-While-On-Roof-Boy” it will be a) non-flattering, deterring him from resuming his identity as TWTHACADTBAWORB and b) well, it’s just annoying to say.

2. Line the streets with cute, adorable animals. As soon as one of them gets hurt, PETA will unleash the wrath of a thousand suns.

3. Create umbrellas and canopies that look like giant eyes. Much like the moth that looks like a giant eye, this could scare the acid-boy away. (Hire JR!)

4. Make money at home. Either acid-boy will fall for it (and stop throwing acid) or everyone else will (and the streets will be empty) – nobody gets hurt.

5. Create giant clingfilm protectors on rooftops. Ever put clingfilm on the toilet seat and wait for the unsuspecting drunk victims?

6. Put different color glitter on the edge of all rooftops. CSI Hong Kong can figure out the rest.

7. Ask our doormen to get off their asses for a change and lock the rooftops they are responsible for. Genius, we know.

8. Sell acid only in limited edition Bathing Ape x Gucci x Angelababy bottles. People will be lining up for days and the collection value will be so high, that nobody is going to throw them away (the re-sell value on eBay is a different type of crime, but it’s still the lesser of two evils).

9. Free high-speed internet for all. This way we can all stay in, be safe and do what the internet was made for: watch porn on it.

10. Equip the jobless 4.9% of this city’s working population with BB guns and have them roam the rooftops in search of the culprit. Winner gets to be a cop and annoy gweilos by raiding Central’s clubs during weekends.