That intrepid bastion of solid reporting and stellar web design, the Standard, reports today that the first public consultation on what to do with the massive suckhole cultural icon that is the West Kowloon Cultural District has finally yielded results! Regrettably, those results now show that well over ten years after the West Kowloon initiative began, the public now requires that West Kowloon be a place of “greenery and a rich artistic atmosphere.” This, of course, in stark contrast to the ever-cracking pier that Hong Kongers have come to love and hold dear over the past decade.

Close your eyes. Listen. Remember when you spent time there?

The water gently lapping. The promenade- with its faded, sun-bleached, fragile boards. The ill-tempered maintenance staff tending selflessly, on a pseudo-hourly basis, to child-sized holes in the pier. A quiet place where you cherished the sound of workers performing a modest amount of sweeping and a greater deal of sleeping. The beautiful building that nobody ever seemed to work in. The deafening silence. And the bathrooms. Ah- the bathrooms!

Takes you back a decade or so doesn’t it?

Yes, these things are what we have all come to appreciate but, sadly, stand to lose. Ever since Tung Chee Hwa got fisted by Hu Jintao for fucking it all up in the first place, we remain a city adrift. We here at the Dark Side say “NO” – do not give in! Hold on to your dreams! LEGCO will surely ruin West Kowloon for us, that much is certain. You know they will. And soon there will be Octopus cards and a 7-Eleven. But, there are years of argument left and, if you are at all like us, you’ll choose a place that will last longer than our beloved, but shitty, West Kowloon pier.

We’re moving to Wing Lee Street.