It’s all over town. This Sunday, LegCo’s by-election will take place, or the de facto referendum (as the LSD- Civic Party alliance loves to call it). Whether you can vote or not, it is actually something to keep an eye on, as it might be the most hilarious election we have ever experienced in Hong Kong. It started with the row over the ambiguous status of the by-election, and then the nonsensical condemnation by the Beijing ass-kissers, which of course has made our beloved Bowtie very uncomfy. Whether he will vote this Sunday will definitely be headline material for the Monday papers.

In order to familiarize you gweilos with the people roaming the streets of HK Island with loudspeakers this Sunday, here is little introduction of the five candidates of the LegCo HK island Constituency by-election:

TAI Cheuk-yin Leslie Spencer
Leslie Spencer might actually be the only one worth voting on. For one thing, he may represent the only chance for any of us to ever cast a vote on a KMT candidate in HK. And because of the man’s fandom of Taiwanese politics, you know he’s gonna annoy Beijing. Spencer here thinks we can simply copy what our Taiwanese bros have done in their fight for democracy and “live up to the Three Principles of the People” by Dr Sun Yat-sen. What has he done before, apart from organising a few tours to Taiwan? He led the mouse-hunt in Sai Ying Pun in 2006 and caught 78 of them himself! If you can vote, this KMT mouse hunter is highly recommended. Allan Zeman is with us on this one.

LEUNG Wing-ho
He (is he a he?) is the T12 candidate. If you vote for him, it basically means voting for the LSD- Civic Party alliance as explained earlier. We’re jealous of the folks in the NT East constituency: at least they can avoid Long Hair’s re-election by voting for this T12 babe.

CHAN Tanya
No intro needed here.. right? Ok, maybe this will help. She’s the sidekick of Civic Party leader Audrey Eu and one of the five lawmakers who resigned earlier this year. So effectively we owe part of this hassle to her. Thank or punish her for it.

WONG Hing
Who the hell is this dude? Well, apparently this man is a transformed Christian who will perform his LegCo duties, if elected, in accordance with the Bible. Wong claims he used to beg for meals, was involved in robberies, and was once a hawker. He promised that further details of his election platform would be published in the Shenzhen property ad column of the Oriental Daily or in Takungpao. We’re giving away free stickers for every ad you can find by this Jesusophile.

LEE Chun-hung David
David might be the most puzzling candidate of all five, as he has proposed the most incomprehensible political reform plan known to mankind, titled “543.” To facilitate our understanding of his platform, David made this 10 minute clip. We still don’t get it though. The man’s motivation to compete stems from the aggressive approach of the LSD- Civic Party alliance. So vote for him if you hate these folks too. At least he promised to donate his election fund to the Tsunami Orphans of Indonesia. Gee, thanks David. But what about our doggies??

Of course, there are always better things to do on Sunday besides voting for these people.

Henry has a guest post on The Dark Side and is one of the founders of the Libertines Pub.