Our government, ever vigilant in protecting us from a healthy hazardous environment, recorded a whopping 31 convictions for green bashers during the month of April, HK Government News has reported. We would like to take this opportunity to salute the government’s tireless efforts to root out those who would make Hong Kong an unfit place to live in.
Not satisfied with mere numbers, our pseudo-journalistic skills were employed to dig deeper and learn the details of these crimes against humanity. If there are children in the room, now would be a good time to send them off. The environmental crimes for the month of April 2010, as recorded by the HK government, are these: (more…)
Hong Kong’s leading authority on air quality, Mr. Anthony Hedley, is among other things responsible for the Hedley Environmental Index. In layman’s terms, this index measures how much money our crappy air quality is costing us. This man has now come up with an excellent solution to reduce pollution by almost 100%. Too good to be true? Not at all! It is actually quite simple in design and relatively low cost. Just move to the Isle of Man, an island west of the island of Great Britain:
“I need to reduce my exposure to polluted air because I know from experience that my respiratory symptoms subside quickly when I am in cleaner air.“
See how that works? Pollution too high in Hong Kong, move to somewhere with none. There. Quit bitching and cya later!
Today the ginormous aircraft carrier USS Nimitz arrived in Hong Kong, along with its supporting fleet of ships and 5680+ crew members on it. Now as you probably know, a “lost weekend” in this city can refer to only two things:
1) Getting blackout drunk and ending up in jail/hospital.
2) American Navy displaces your bar stool at any number of shady fine establishments.
Because of the recent arms deal between the U.S. and Taiwan, China got upset and threatened with all kinds of nasty things. Hence, by allowing Wan Chai to be flooded by thousands of horny sailors, it’s easy to conclude the Chinese are pussies who bark but don’t bite. Of course, our strip clubs aren’t complaining. But us Dark Siders expect there’s more than meets the eye. It wouldn’t be the first time our mainland amigos deceive the gullible world with a seemingly friendly gesture. With Obama about to meet the Dalai Lama and the inevitable abuse by Beijing that will follow, letting the USA park here can only be considered a genius PR move. Us Commies are peaceful, you Yanks provoke!
But anyway, back to the Nimitz. Our town is a favorite port-of-call for U.S. Navy sailors. Hence, be warned ladies, single and taken, large and small: lots of American se(a)men are/is going to be all over you the coming few days.
Everyone has hopefully received most of their ‘red packets’ or if you are a whitey, you are still on vacation. For those who are lucky enough to stay in Hong Kong for the festivities, we went out of our way to buy some fireworks that would bring cheer to your hearts.
Now, to describe the amount and power of the fireworks we purchased, we can only speak in riddles numbers. Let’s just say we spent $bigg-lotss HKD on this month’s extra-curricular activity. So enjoy the video. And remember- we are trained professionals, and as such, if we can do this so can you.
We like to bring you humor and mockery, but every now and then Satan rears his ugly head in the form of uncalled-for-violence. We (the older crowd) have been brought up “loving neighbors” and respecting elders when needed. Those before us believed in honor and purpose, duty and reliance. It’s 2010 now and things are different. Society has gotten tougher and more individualistic, not in the last place due to the internet. The latter can be a terrible place and we have no problems admitting contributing to that.
But of course there are limits, especially when it comes to physicial harm. It only comes naturally that acts of violence should happen between the angry teenage boys of our world, but what you are about to see makes you wonder what the hell happened to girls frolicking in the meadows with a basket of flowers.
The video below is NSFW – and contains violence that even our war hardened writers cringed at. Release your stress on a pillow or simply do drugs. But don’t inflict harm on helpless others. WTF:
Getting laid through attentive, courteous behavior can be problematic at times in this city. At least, that’s what we have to assume after reading the third case in just a few weeks involving a very creative local and the usual naive female(s). After the Fung Shui master and the hair therapist, we figured we’d seen the best of it. As happens quite often, we were wrong.
Today SCMP reports about a Hong Kong man, surnamed Shum, who managed to convince unsuspecting women they required ‘health checks’, which would often turn into sexual intercourse. How? By posing as a secret government agent who had discovered these same women were raped and drugged by their fathers. And to find out if daddy was still going at it, regular check ups were required.
As if the punani fiddling and occasional lay wasn’t enough, these women were charged HK$ 400 – 2,500 for each body check as well. It is believed that from 2002 till 2008, Shum made more than HK$ 500,000 by exploiting these boneheaded poor ladies. Our own 007 got busted last year and was jailed for 19 years by a court in Guangzhou this month. Let’s hope he will remember his ‘daddies’ raping him in prison.
If you have lived in Hong Kong for more than one month, you likely have run into pirated software or DVD’s on the hustle and bustle of the streets. Now, if you work or play on computers you have probably been to the computer markets and stores around the city to ‘procure’ some very important software. As we (nerds) know, stocking up a computer with dozens of programs can run a hefty tab, and if you are a creative person – you could look upwards of HKD 20k for a full set of audio, video and graphic programs.
So… Some of us find it an easier option to get the same stuff for HKD 10 a disc. This is indeed illegal. Interestingly, the global weighted piracy rate, defined as units of pirated software divided by total units installed, is a whopping 59.9%. Now of course Hong Kong is China’s little brother, so our fakes are slightly pricier and we may not always have access to brand spankin’ new releases. So how do we fare?
That’s right.. We rank 69th in the world, between piracy ‘legends’ Qatar and Cyprus. What the fuck is wrong with us? Just five years ago anyone could walk right into the most popular of computer centers and find a 40 cm thick book of game and software covers to wet even the most geekiest of nerd’s appetite. And now we share the spot with Saudi Arabia and Estonia??
Ok, so what we are tied with The Kingdom and the… guys next to Latvia. What about China – that incessant monster with no regard for IPR, and the homeland of the fake everything? Surely our motherland will make us proud.
Botswana? China has the same percentage of pirated software installed as a nature preserve? And gets beaten by the Ukraine? DIU.
On a serious note. Piracy is a crime. For those of us who develop software as a living (which we don’t) you are stealing people’s bread and rice. You better stop. Except for backpack DVD guy in Lan Kwai Fong. You sir… are amazing.
