The next drama to watch in the coming months will be the LegCo’s by-election - or the de facto referendum (as the LSD- Civic Party alliance loves to call it). In an act to bring reform to HK Politics, five brave pan-dem warriors resigned from their LegCo seats in January. Until recently, everybody has been acting cool: no more banana-throwing in the council chambers, no major protests in the street, no nothing. It’s as if they never were elected in the first place.
Kudos, of course, go to Big Brother; our useless government; and our ass-kissing pro-establishment camp. They simply didn’t play the game the LSD-Civic Party alliance wanted them to play and virtually ignored the resignation as a protest – sticking to their guns saying the great Basic Law allows no referendum. Also odd is how it’s all quiet on the LSD-Civic Party front. They have done nothing noteworthy since their gathering outside of LegCo when they dramatically tendered their resignation in late January. Conspiracy theorists like this fella believe it’s all BS and our mavericks would soon return to their cozy LegCo seats having accomplished nothing. We agreed… but only until we heard this:
Our beloved singer/actress/chef, Maria “Fat Mama” Cordero is now considering running for the NT East LegCo seat! She said she would need to hold a family conference before making a final decision, but there’s a possibility for her to run against Leung Kwok-hung aka Long Hair. Hard choice for you denizens of NT East, right? She said she’s pretty pissed off by the uncivilized approach of the LSD, and thought that elections and constitutional reform is much like cooking and bringing up children: it takes time and has its own pace.
But that’s not all folks; we heard that Pamela Pak, the long time girl friend of Paul Tse, the Honorable LegCo member for the Tourism constituency, will be running as well. Let’s keep an eye out for their colorful costumes and their make-your eyes-bleed-photo-ops. One thing that I know for sure, if Fat Mama is elected, she will definitely do something about the price of food. As recently as a few weeks ago one catty of pea sprouts cost more than one share of HSBC. Help us Fat Mama!
Henry has a guest post on The Dark Side and is one of the founders of the Libertines Pub.
Residents of HK have for years looked at the backs of scrawny boys and wondered “potentially fit girl or malnourished, scrawny dude?” only to discover a nasty little shock after following them around a couple of blocks. And now there is proof! A popular book in China titled Save the Boys by author Sun Yunxiao argues that boys in China grow up in a predominantly female environment and hence, emulate dudes like these. Luckily this development is counterbalanced by the Chingstah phenomenon. And if that doesn’t work, well, toys like these do wonders in reducing the self-perception of neighbors’ testicle sizes.
Which brings us to an interesting point, namely the fact that China’s enemy/ally India has started to gloat over China’s “sissy” situation, judging from this article on one of India’s news sites. Is India firing shots at China? Not too surprising, considering the two countries’ dispute over their border region and that annoying Dalai Lama. What should we do? Maybe airdrop large condoms but mark them as small? Hmmm… Regular ones would probably do the trick:
HA! Our average size is far from impressive, but yours is even tinier, making it the SMALLEST IN THE WORLD. So India, just follow the Brits, like in the old days. And let us get back to our own problems.
This morning Taiwan was struck by an earthquake of magnitude 6.4 on the Richter scale. Reports so far mention 11 people being injured and no fatal casualties. The epicenter of the quake was in the mountains northeast of the city of Kaohsiung at a depth of 5 km.
Hence, not exactly a Haiti or Chile-like disaster it seems, yet only 11 years ago a quake measuring 7.3 killed approx. 2,400 people and destroyed/damaged 50,000 buildings on the island. As usual, we were slightly amused by Xinhua’s -the PRC’s official press agency- depiction of the situation, referring to the island as China’s Taiwan:
Your uni-days are to be remembered. It’s the time in which most of us make the transition from useless teen to aspiring yuppie. Some may have lost their virginity or perhaps you experimented with huge amounts of alcohol or drugs (or maybe not). Hopefully you ended up making friends for life. But you know what’s also sweet about universities? Working for one! Especially if you’re employed by Polytechnic University.
If you stick around long enough to become a senior staff member, you could end up earning between HK$ 1.8 and 4.8 million a year, which is more than what any other government funded uni in this city pays. But it gets better. Especially if you’re a (former) council member, as PolyU has no issues investing in one of your businesses, whether they make money or not. 38 subsidiaries and affiliates of PolyU have resulted in write offs of HK$ 83.4 million in 2009, and total losses of HK$ 332 million over the past five years. Oh, your business is not related to any of the university’s course material? Who cares.
PolyU Modern TCM, a firm of which the university owned 59.18 % at one point, makes Chinese herbal products. The fact that no courses in Chinese medicine are offered by PolyU is simply irrelevant, as well as the sale of this great venture for HK$ 1.1 million last year (which resulted in write offs of HK$ 25 million). Let’s not bore you with additional details on how a construction firm run by a former council member was awarded with HK$ 700 million in contracts over the past few years, or how HK$ 504 million was lost due to risky bets on stocks and derivatives.
What does this all mean for PolyU’s bottom line? A HK$ 900 million loss over 2009. Mo Man Tai!
Today the ginormous aircraft carrier USS Nimitz arrived in Hong Kong, along with its supporting fleet of ships and 5680+ crew members on it. Now as you probably know, a “lost weekend” in this city can refer to only two things:
1) Getting blackout drunk and ending up in jail/hospital.
2) American Navy displaces your bar stool at any number of shady fine establishments.
Because of the recent arms deal between the U.S. and Taiwan, China got upset and threatened with all kinds of nasty things. Hence, by allowing Wan Chai to be flooded by thousands of horny sailors, it’s easy to conclude the Chinese are pussies who bark but don’t bite. Of course, our strip clubs aren’t complaining. But us Dark Siders expect there’s more than meets the eye. It wouldn’t be the first time our mainland amigos deceive the gullible world with a seemingly friendly gesture. With Obama about to meet the Dalai Lama and the inevitable abuse by Beijing that will follow, letting the USA park here can only be considered a genius PR move. Us Commies are peaceful, you Yanks provoke!
But anyway, back to the Nimitz. Our town is a favorite port-of-call for U.S. Navy sailors. Hence, be warned ladies, single and taken, large and small: lots of American se(a)men are/is going to be all over you the coming few days.
Those of you that have been here for a while would remember an interesting murder case involving expats and milkshakes in Hong Kong. Nancy Kissel was accused of bludgeoning her investment banker husband to death in 2003 after giving him a cocktail of drugs. She claimed to have killed him in self-defense, testifying that she suffered years of abusive sex and he was a coke addict. Unfortunately for her that didn’t cut it: she was convicted of premeditated murder and sentenced to life in prison
Last week, Hong Kong’s top court overturned her 2005 conviction for killing her husband, ruling that hearsay evidence on her intent to kill and cross-examination on bail material made her original trial unfair. Erm.. WTF? In her first appeal, which she lost, the court called it as cogent a case of murder as might be imagined. Court statements don’t get any bolder than this. Yet apparently, very obvious mistakes have been made.
It’s worthwhile to note that in Hong Kong, roughly 75% of not-guilty pleas end in a conviction. In England for example, that figure is less than 8%. This has made one prominent HK lawyer, Clive Grossman, compare Hong Kong’s rate of conviction to North Korea’s: “An arrested person is, statistically, almost certain to face imprisonment.”
Even though Nancy admitted killing her husband, the fact that she appears to have gotten an unfair trial is a serious blow to our judiciary system’s reputation. On the other hand, we are part of China of course. Luckily we can find comfort in the fact that other places in Asia are even more messed up. For those holding a grudge against bankers too, here’s a more innocent way to relieve the frustration.
Despite our Basic Law that protects freedom of expression, Facebook appears to practice self-censorship over political content in our city. Over the past few days groups that oppose the pro-establishment party (DAB) as well as the League of Social Democrats (LSD) have been closed, some of them with + 100.000 members. So it’s not just the anti-establishment parties that have been targeted. Already blocked in China, Zuckerberg & Co. might have figured it’s best to shy away from any political issues in Hong Kong as well, since it’s pretty obvious Beijing dictates affairs here too. Shame on you.
