Some of you may remember your first business dinner with the Chinese in which you were meant to be impressed by a slimy and stringy substance in a bowl. Little did you probably know about the butchery prestige associated with this fine dish back then. Hopefully things are a little different by now.

The shark fin industry is so lucrative that there’s even a mighty mafia run out of Taiwan, dictating affairs as far as Costa Rica. Of course there are many groups and activists working diligently to stop shark finning practices such as CITES, WWF, and Greenpeace. In March a convention will be held about the scalloped hammerhead and whether it should become an endangered species. This species is currently responsible for the most lucrative fins and if listed as endangered, it’s like a special edition LV bag! And hence, will probably be regarded even tastier.

Luckily some of Hong Kong’s finest are making efforts to contribute to the prevention of cruelty to animals and such. Just last week, SCMP reported about a grand celebration of fine wines at the Hotel Nikko with guests including none other than our beloved satirical columnist Chip Tsao. The purpose of the event was to promote an exclusive line of wines and the cases of wine sold at the event would graciously benefit the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals. Bravo! Lots of money must have been donated. We also hope everybody enjoyed the shark fin’s soup which was served during dinner.

Guess it’s one of those cultural things that can never be changed, no matter how destructive or environmentally irresponsible it may be. On the other hand, if more sharks are added to the list of endangered species, we may be confronted with a much bigger problem one day: an increase in the number of irrational Chinese women. Far from endangered already!

The Chinese love playing games. Mahjong is obviously very popular, as well as board and dice games. And who could forget the classic game of hide-and-seek? The absolute favorite of Chinese officials however has to be ‘tit for tat.’ How else can we explain the punishing of the Melbourne International Film Festival for showing a documentary about exiled Uighur leader Rebiya Kadeer, the threatening of India for not feeling comfy with *cough* quality Chinese dairy and the cancelling of an entire summit with the EU last year because -ah putain!- Sarkozy decided to meet the Dalai Lama before. Although we do acknowledge the latter is usually full of shit.

The latest example was found yesterday, as China chose to reject a Japanese navy call because the dirty Japs hosted the exiled Uighur leader last month. If the Middle Kingdom is about to take on the role of world cop as our conservative columnist and Filipino basher Chip Tsao thinks it should, how about acting a bit more mature when the world doesn’t bend over every time you say 祖国! We know you hold so much U.S. debt you can bankrupt half the world in a second, your military power is becoming impressive, having the largest consumer market is simply a matter of time and we can even understand your argument for heavy pollution as nobody was bitching at the West while it was industrializing.

But for f*ck sakes, live up to the role of world leader and stop being such a whiny annoying brat. As Spidy’s uncle Ben once said: “With great power, comes great responsibility.” Sigh.. If only Hollywood could inspire Chinese officials as it did with this boy from Sichuan province.

Poor Chip Tsao. Today he followed his employer by issuing an apology for his 27th of March column in HK Magazine. This piece of writing enraged Filipinos from every corner of the globe, as Chip has labeled the Philippines a ‘country of servants which depends on China for most of its bread and butter.’

Why such harsh words? Chip was pissed off by the Philippines’ claim over the Spratly Islands, which the mighty motherland also wants to get its hands on. We knew already that Chip was a true patriot, but that it would lead to a ban from the Philippines.. ouch. And if that’s not enough, the group ‘United Filipinos’ is planning on mobilizing the community for a protest on the 5^th of April. Even the Dark Side got a piece of the action today via the following message in our inbox:

(more…)

The column ‘Politically Incorrect’ by Chip Tsao in HK Magazine always gives us some food for thought. Chip is generally known for his conservative views, but also for his humor and sarcasm. This week he provides an interesting alternative view on ex-President Bush, by arguing that Bush was a very good president by every possible Chinese moral and cultural standard. On Iraq for example: ‘The invasion of Iraq not only liberated the Iraqi people – they’ve also achieved a remarkable 30% GDP growth rate.’ Bush liberated their productivity!

30%.. wowsy. You reckon that may have something to do with the devastating United Nations financial and trade embargo from 1990-2003 Chip? There is more wisdom though: ‘Then comes the ‘it’s all about oil’ charge. Of course it’s all about oil – we have to make it cheap enough form someone like Noam Chomsky to drive to Wal Mart every weekend.’ Chip apparently has issues with lefty Chomsky, an outspoken critic of Bush and U.S. foreign policy in general. But that aside.. oil has indeed remained supercheap Chip.

(more…)